And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? ~Mark 8:36
This might be my final post on the Common Ground postmortem. As you know, we are destined to repeat our mistakes, if we don’t learn from them. Much has happened in the three years since we left Colorado Springs, Common Ground – and our dear friends there – we had something great going, but then it imploded. I can’t let go until I can figure out why. I believe I’ve narrowed it down to one key area: It’s my fault.
”Success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.” –Winston Churchill
Yeah, I’d like to pass the buck, but someone once told me that the “speed of the leader, determines the speed of the church.” There are factors that affected my leadership, there are factors that affected the launch, growth, and decline of Common Ground. But ultimately, I’ve realized that I made a huge mistake. Here’s what I see:
- We were given five years to start, grow, and be successful.
- Success was never clearly defined.
- Over time, we discovered that success meant a certain dollar amount – $265k/year in tithe income.
- We were told that we were different and would not be judged like “regular,” traditional churches.
- By non-traditional standards, Common Ground was hugely successful.
- By traditional standards, we were unsuccessful.
Up until this point, I would summarize the demise of Common Ground like this:
- We never had the support of the local churches.
- We had tremendous financial support from the denomination, but the political support was divided over many fronts.
- We needed more than five years.
But all of the above are just circumstances. Circumstances are to be understood, dealt with, and overcome. Unfortunately, we never really found a way past these issues. I dealt with this in stages:
- Grief – I was overcome with sadness in having to leave Common Ground and our special friends there.
- Anger – I was angry at my overseers, angry at my team, angry with the denomination, and angry at myself. And if I were to be totally honest, ultimately, I was angry at God.
- Depression – yes, very depressed that it didn’t work out. This coupled with burn-out, loneliness, and the stress of a move, made for a very hard year following our departure from Common Ground.
- Bargaining – through displaced focus, I tried to transfer my hopes, dreams, and vision for Common Ground onto our new church. But of course, they weren’t ready for that.
- Acceptance – I now accept that the Common Ground experiment failed – it wasn’t a good fit for the traditional Church, and the unchurched were still to un-trusting of anything that looks like a church. I also accept that I’m not a good fit for the traditional church either.
As I accept the failure of Common Ground, and my own failure as an Adventist pastor, I am able to dream even bigger visions of the future. I don’t believe the vision for Common Ground was wrong. In fact, more than ever, I am inspired by the things we did right – despite the things we did wrong.
”Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” –Dr. Seuss
The first two-plus years at Common Ground were awesome. It was organic, it was real, and it was relevant – and then we I began to focus on growth. My motives for focusing on growth were pure – I wanted Common Ground to survive. I also wanted more people to experience the Truth that is Jesus, within the context of a community of love. However, wanting a home run, and focusing on a home run are two separate things. Those that focus on home runs usually strike out, those that keep their eyes on the ball, often hit home runs. I took my eye off the ball, and I struck out.
Our vision was to be a R.A.R.E. Community of faith (Real, Authentic, Relevant, and Experiential) – but instead of leading the way towards this goal, I began to push my leaders with the idea that if we don’t grow, we would die. That became a self-fulfilling prophesy. I took my eyes off the the goal, and began to focus on the consequences. Instead of leading my team forward, I began trying to push them away from the precipice.
Pushing is Not Leading
I would love to start over. I would love to duplicate the first two years of Common Ground – the organic part.
The first six months or so were scary. We didn’t know if anyone would show up. Our first small group was very tentative – and I wasn’t sure exactly which way to go. As we moved forward, we sought to experience God, seek to discover where He was already working, and then to join Him. At the end of 18 months, we had a plan, we had a direction, and we were building momentum.
Preparing for the Grand Opening generated a lot of excitement and enthusiasm. It also brought some really cool people into our ranks. The Grand Opening itself was a huge success, and it gave us a huge boost. So, at the end of our first two years, Common Ground had taken flight and was soaring. We had several small groups, 60-80 people were actively involved, and we began to make plans to grow.
Our first evangelistic event was a big success also, several of those who chose to join us, became some of our best friends. But something changed at this point. I don’t have a complete handle on it – but I do know that our focus changed, and I take responsibility for that. The “speed of the leader determines the speed of the church.“
The pressure to grow, the pressure to meet denominational expectations (which I still hadn’t figured out yet) – and the pressure to be “successful” – all of this changed our focus. In the future, I want to repeat the small groups, the Core4 visioning, and the regular worship gatherings – but I would like to give it more time to mature, more time to gel, and more time to let, not force, community to grow. Christ-centered community is what we wanted, but what we ended up with was just another organization trying to hold our own against the pressures we faced.
The pressure we faced, should have been ignored, but it soon absorbed my attention. One of the jobs of the leader is to ignore the naysayers, the scary monsters, and the distractions. Leadership requires laser-sharp focus on the goal. Next time, I’d like to do it without the pressure to “grow, or die.” Next time I’d like to do it without the constraints of a overly timid denominational structure. Next time, I’d like to focus on:
“To gather a group of people who want to experience God, seek where He is already working, and then join Him!”
Apology
Because of the pressure I put on people, some bad stuff happened. I pushed people to do things before they were ready. I pushed people into areas where they weren’t necessarily gifted. I pushed people away from me, for the sake of growth. I was an idiot.
“Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the LORD Almighty.” ~Zechariah 4:6
Instead of letting God grow, via the Spirit of God, I tried to do it through might and power. The Lord had a plan to deal with the denomination and the five-year deadline. None of that was my responsibility – and even if we didn’t succeed (which we didn’t anyway), at least we’d still be intact as a community. Not necessarily geographically, but at least in Spirit. I became motivated by fear, not led by vision.
Frank, Chris, Ron, Jennifer, Vicky, Vicki, John, Linda, Jim, Joyce, Skylar, Rene’, Brandi, and dozens of others. I’m sorry.
Will you forgive me? Will you forgive me for casting a vision that never materialized? Will you forgive losing sight of that vision? Will you forgive me for pushing, not leading? Will you forgive me for putting the project ahead of our friendship? I should have prayed more, worried less, and relaxed. I am sorry.
This is an incredible post, primarily because of its honesty, but also the depth of feeling and humility. There are probably a great number of leaders who can identify with these feelings and experiences, though perhaps not articulate them as well as you have; there are many who will not be as soul-searching or ready to admit their own failures or carry blame.
Thank you so much for sharing. Blessings to you.
Thanks CJ – I appreciate the support. Feel free to pass this on to anyone who might benefit. I believe that transparency is a path to true community and faith.
You are forgiven for the things you listed above.
What you are not forgiven for is showing me a better way to do church, showing me what community is, and setting a higher standard for what is expected of Christians…. for these things, I am still mad at you. I go to church every week, and every week I leave disappointed and unfulfilled.
I am glad that I was part of the experiment of Common Ground; however, it has left me looking for more. I can’t find a church that is real, relevant, and spiritual. Our churches need a serious overhaul, and it is frustrating to me to go to church with people who appear to be happy with the status quo.
Thank you Brandi!
But I think what you’re NOT forgiving me for, is the one thing that I feel worst about – that is, casting a vision that cannot be obtained.
That’s why I really like this quote:
”Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” –Dr. Seuss
I disagree. I think it is something that can be obtained. It might not look exactly like what we dream of, but there has GOT to be something better than what we have!
Agreed Brandi. So, when are you going to move here and help us re-launch!?
I forgive you, Gary. And I appreciate you writing and sharing with us.
The great parts of Common Ground were awesome! And the awesome parts were/are the deep friendships I have made with all of these dear people. It’s amazing how much I miss them and our community of CG. I wish our children could have grown up within this precious Body of Christ.
Thanks Gorgeous!
I think that was the hardest thing, leaving some people who dearly loved our children, and treated them like their own grandkids – and then coming here and not having that unconditional acceptance.
Of course you’re forgiven, my friend!! However, I see a few other issues that provide context for Common Ground. These issues have forced the local conference to re-think just how church plants happen in the future.
The biggest issue? Local church and pastoral support. Our “mistake,” was allowing a church plant to continue after the “mother” organization at best “ignored” the plant; at worst “rejected” it’s own offspring. What I’ve learned watching and being part of Common Ground from the “overseer” position is that we, as a denomination, are connected – whether we like it or not. When one church fails, we all fail. When one church succeeds, we all succeed. However, that piece has never been acknowledged – until this past summer. We, as a “sisterhood of churches” are much more adept at shooting arrows at the neighboring churches (or plants) than we are at supporting one another for the purpose of sharing God’s message with this world.
The result? As of this past summer, our region has put in place several boundaries for church plants. Some of those include 1) No local, pastoral and neighboring church support (real, tangible support) – no plant. 2) A church plant does not constitute conflict resolution – and thus no church plant will be approved to satisfy people who can’t get along. 3) Creating a church plant to satisfy an individual’s desire to lead – not a reason to approve a church plant.
Bottomline? Common Ground was/is far from a failure!! Unique? Absolutely!! Every denomination – every church I know of that has attempted a church such as Common Ground knows it will not – cannot – grow fast. The people you were reaching were raw – addicted at times – rough – the kind of people Jesus called us to reach – the marginalized.
The problem was not all yours, my friend. It was also a lack of support locally, an inability regionally to comprehend the type of church you were attempting to create, it was an inability to create an “exception” to policies meant to protect both the plant and the denomination, and yes, your own personal anxiety, focus and to be honest, change of personal priorities as you grew and changed as a human being and Dad.
Today, I’m much more interested in planting churches from the start that 1) have a way out defined from the beginning, 2) Have crystal clear “success” factors defined unique to each context, and above all 3) never, ever, ever start a plant without neighboring pastoral and congregational enthusiastic, tangible support.
My point? Common Ground is/was not a failure!! One definition of failure is “The condition or fact of not achieving the desired end or ends.” OK – so maybe you personally didn’t reach the desired “end” you had in your heart. However, as Benjamin Franklin said, “I didn’t fail, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.”
So, my friend, CG was NOT a failure! We just uncovered several ways to do it “wrong” that we didn’t know before! The outcomes were not what we expected, but it taught us something – something very, very valuable!! WE ARE CONNECTED WHICH WILL RESULT IN EITHER PASSIONATE GROWTH – OR HORRENDOUS PAIN!! No church plant stands alone – or it’s doomed to true “failure.”
My question for you? Will you forgive me, a neophyte of the regional administration, for putting you in an untenable position? Will you forgive me for not helping to connect you in a real, tangible way to your neighboring churches?
Thank you KC!
I appreciate that the organization is learning from this too. You are the first to acknowledge these mistakes and take responsibility for them. Much of my criticism of the denomination, has not been to denigrate and degrade, but to seek improvement.
The lack of acknowledgement on these issues has caused me to lose hope that the Church is willing to grow – which is why I’ve decided to be an independent tentmaker.
Thank you KC for being an authentic and transparent leader.
Gary-
I just re-read your comments and must start off by saying, “I was looking for this Gary at CG, but he wasn’t there! BUT, here he is some 5 yrs. later and this makes me happy!” It makes me happy to see “you” real, relavent, authentic! The experience of CG going back to the 1st meetings in your living room, the studying, planning, visioning, launching, all of this is/was so powerful, meaningful, it will never be taken away.
I understand you, taking responsibilty for this, but I need to take responsibilty for myself and can’t let you take the bullet for me and my actions. Of course, as the “leader” you are the point man and take many shots for the rest. But, if the “team” is truly a team then we/I have to stand up as well and be “shot” at! I remember a conversation you and I had after we had a small mis-understanding, and it had to do with our up bringing, our Dad’s. You and I are very similar on how and why we do things, in that, when we take on a task, it HAS to be done right! There is only one way and that is the right way, and if it seems to be moving in a direction we feel is wrong, we take control, make sure it moves the right way. I think we don’t mean this to be offensive to anyone, but it comes across that way. I appreciate the efforts and understand the way you did things, but in hindsite “we” both know it was not the right way.
You mentioned some of the things which led to the demise of CG, and I agree with you. The one which has always come back as long as I’ve been in the Adventist Faith, is the lack of support from the local Churches. It saddens me to see this Church (Colo. Spgs), do this over and over to the other churches in this city, or Pastor. Taresa and I don’t attend church anymore, because of the bs, dysfunctional, clicky, way church is done. WE MISS CG and what it stood for! How it pushed us (in good ways), and how it was “non-traditional”- R.A.R.E!
Funny how things work out and God’s way of bringing people back into the circle, even if the circle is hundreds/thousands of miles apart. I have good memories of what took place, services, people, fellowship!
One thing which now I feel you realize, is that I wanted you at times just to listen to me! I didn’t want an answer, or philosophical comment just you listening. Now, I understand what/why you did this as a man, we want to “fix” and sometimes we need to just listen- VERY HARD!
Do you remember when we saw each other on I-25 in Castle Rock? Wierd meeting and conversation and really no reason to bring up other than the fact God’s timing. What was the purpose of that and did we blow it??
Gary, I forgive you and I forgave you long ago! “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone?” I’ve read ans watched your posts on FB for some time and I’m not the person you knew at CG. BUT I am the real person now I’d want you to meet. I was being who ” I thought I should be” instead of who I was, and consequently, I didn’t allow God to work through me as He could!
You my “friend” are a good man who has made mistakes, as have I and the rest of the World! I would ask for your forgiveness for not being the person you may have thought I was back then? I applaud you for your vulnerability now and look forward to what God may do with you in the future! You have a place to stay and would love if you and Jenn plus the kiddos visited. Take care and look “up” and see what He has in store!
Your friend and Brother-
Frank
Frank, I sit here with tears in my eyes. You get it – thanks. And yes, I blew it, with you, exactly as you said above. I wanted you to be something you weren’t, and weren’t called to be.
Yes, I believe that you had the potential – but because of that, I leaned on you pretty hard. That wasn’t fair, and it wasn’t right. Thank you for understanding.
(BTW, I think you probably noticed your name was first above.)
Also, I’m not going to church either. I’ve not given up on God – but I have given up on the Church. It will be interesting to see where He takes us from here.
Thanks for the invite! You are awesome!
G
PS: Thanks for not giving up on me.
I don’t know where God will lead us??? Not for me to know but for God to lead-so we shall see and He will do great things! I know “we” have great potential!-in God’s time and I wish that would come sooner than later!! Thank you for believing in me ! I did notice my name first and wondered if that was intentional or what? I’m glad you haven’t given up on God! I know what your feeling with Church and I won’t settle for what’s out there or “what seems to be” a cool church. I hope I’m not making a mistake by this way of thinking! Here’s the deal, I will “push” you if you push me going forward?? Let’s communicate on a more regular basis ? Deal??
Take care!
Frank
Absolutely Frank – I agree that God put us together for a reason.
After our encounter along I-25, I was very excited to have “reconnected” with you – past the anger. I knew it was a small step in reconciliation, and then unfortunately, we were called to move.
So, when are you coming to Oregon to visit?
What a brave move to post online. Look at all the Bob and Tom’s that read it (like me!)
It’s been years, but I, too, attended Common Ground. I didn’t get into all the drama of what went down there. But I do know several people involved. I’m always sad to see things going on between friends. I’m also sad to hear churches falling apart.
The deadline theory (I assume was given by the SDA church) is ridiculous. THAT in and of itself limits God and His power. Who is to say how soon or late a person will come to Christ? And separately, come to church? If churches pop up and disappear in 5 years, then how are people who “found God there” going to find that place when they’re ready to really commit to church attendance? And what if they never do commit to church attendance, but look for the support and find an empty building with a “for lease” sign up?
I stopped going to church a long time ago. Forget the occasional visits. I quit going after college. I had to forsake religion to find a relationship with God. So sad that those are two different things for me. Common Ground was the best thing I had during those years of searching.
Although I’m not attending a SDA church, I do go to church every Sunday morning. My entire family loves it. But I already have the foundation of Bible and tradition to keep me going. I was born Christian. What about people who aren’t? I had to find a church that I could bring people to or I wouldn’t go myself. It took a long time, but I realized that was the whole point – Community and love for that community beyond the SDA title.
I’m not sure about the 7th day issue. I can see it both ways. But I’m not worried about that right now. God has pushed me into a place that’s uncomfortable. Learning things about myself that are ugly and needing light shed. And the church I’m at does that. And the people welcome me there. And it’s all current, relevant, and biblical. If I master the things I’m presented with inside myself… Then I’ll move to the 7th day issue. Have you tackled issues outside the church walls and inside of your heart? I’m a much more whole person now.
I feel strange asking this of you as a pastor. You know way more than I do about the Bible. I just feel I have a lot to share about life experience “after church” and felt compelled to write you after reading the apology post you wrote.
How long have you not been attending church? Did you stop after you left CO? What event was the final straw?
You haven’t given up on God… So what does that mean? What do you do with that in the place you’re at now?
I’ll never forget your family. You’re welcome to stay with us anytime you are in town and need a place to stay. To be painfully honest – that’s what I think the church really is… People who seek God and love each other. I think every denomination is wrong. I’m wrong. We’re all wrong. I feel strongly compelled to hold fast to people who are honestly seeking God – not theories and methods and deadlines and traditions. My God doesn’t run me through the motions of centuries past to speak to me. He’s got a direct line to my heart. I’m working on strengthening that. Sounds like you are too.
I feel the real church is just this… And our united voices are not some anarchy. We’re just honest brothers and sisters in Christ who stick together through thick and thin FOR REAL.
See you in Heaven.
Shelly, thanks so much for the note. This means so much to me.
We would probably go to another church, any church, in a heartbeat – except for many issues – not just Sabbath. That’s probably why we’ll most likely end up starting something from scratch… again. We really haven’t found anything close by that we want to be a part of.
A year ago I was fired from my pastoring job here in Oregon. It was ugly, it was political, and it was unfair. We’ve moved on – but it did help me to realize that I’m not really welcome in the traditional Adventist setting.
Here is a better explanation of my story:
http://www.daddytude.com/2010/03/unchurched-again/
Also – thanks for the invite!
Brother Gary, we’ve never met but I am very interested in what you tried to do in starting Common Ground Church. I am 61 years old and for several years I have realized that something was missing in my heart, church, and my relationship with my Lord and Savior. I was tired of Church the way it was being done. A performance, the same performance. Several years ago in Greely , Co. I attended a church there that was just starting out doing church differently, I was so blessed. Here in Bend, Or. we are embarking on that same task, and I was wondering would you at some point in the future be willing to visit with us and share your heart and ministry with us? God is using you and I don’t believe you were a failure, He has a message for you to share, just not in the context that you thought. God Bless and thank you for your courage. Jim
Jim, I’d be willing to meet/talk with you anytime! I don’t plan to be in Bend anytime soon – are you planning to be in Portland anytime soon?
Thank you for your words – I really appreciate that.
Gary,
I, and probably others, are being positively effected by the ‘afterglow’ of CommonGround.
I think ‘failures’ such as this are necessary for God to wake us up to the new reality of his desire for his church.
Thanks for being willing to be one of the pioneers. Though you can’t see it…and maybe never will. Trust that God knows what he is doing, and is PLEASED to count you among his FLAWED servants.
He is not finished with you yet!
Thanks DP. It means a lot to me to have your affirmation. The last three years have been hard. Watching Common Ground slip into the abyss, moving cross country and leaving our dear, dear friends, and then being rejected by those that didn’t understand us – well, it just means a lot to hear your words.
Thank you.
Gary, I never knew you in Colorado. I did know your brother as i attended The Adventure for a while. I had a deeply disappointing experience in Colorado I had a major operation, exacerbation of ongoing chronic illnesses & my husband assaulted me & was arrested. i was not treated kindly by those I thought loved God & cared for the hurting. I sought help form several different churches only to be discarded as a person.
I just moved back to WV as the home I was renting was foreclosed on in Colorado. Thankfully my daughter was able to help in getting my son & I back here. I do not know what is in store but I do know this i am weary of the lifeless & unloving churches i have attended & attempted to be a part of. I want more than that!
I pray each day for clarity & to see what God would have me do. This past Sabbbath I went to the Morgantown SDA church.. it is dying ..few people there tired & lifeless. Sad very sad. there is a large university here WVU this church could be a part of a vibrant ministry but it has never happened as most people are “set” in their ways & change freaks them out.
I hope to start a home fellowship.
It’s hard to be unloved Rene. My family went through that sort of experience over the past two years. We’ve since realized that some churches are more healthy than others, and we’ve moved on. We don’t depend on others for our happiness.
We too are likely to start a home fellowship, but our primary responsibility is to be spiritually healthy. It would be disingenuous for us to try and lead out, with out going in the right direction. So, right now, we are focused on rebuilding our lives and letting God restore us.
My prayer is that you will recover from the misunderstandings and mistreatment, and find solace only through Christ! He has great work for you Rene!
Gary, I really prayed over how to respond to you when I read this – asking God to guide my words. I came across this passage and felt it was appropriate and from God.
God is not done using you. Please, please, please, continue to go forward with His guidance. You have been forgiven.
Love you guys!
What TR says above, has always been one of my life’s values. I’m not afraid to risk big. However, it is risky.
Thanks for the forgiveness!
You did not blow it! Made mistakes? Sure. Poor judgement at times, probably. Who of us in leadership haven’t? I’ve done my share. What u did was try! Not enough of us attempt something as bold as planting a church for Christ. My question for u now is, what is the next chapter of your life going to do? I’m proud of what u did. Now take what u learned and fry again.
Thanks – we are moving forward, and ready to “fry” again! All for Jesus!
Thank for taking the time to share your insights. I have read some of your other posts and was intrigued to see that you recommend that you should start a church in pairs. This is my feeling too. My brother in Christ Bruce and myself are praying about starting a church with the intent of preaching the Word to anyone who wants to listen. God will lead the ones he wants to hear to us. Anyway … I appreciate the re-enforcement that one has to stay focused on how God measures success NOT how the world measures it.